that taste, all I ever needed, all I ever wanted

2010

when I look back on this year there are various words coming up, but I think: free, careless, laughter & good times, sums it up pretty well. I've learned to care less about what people think of me, I am less insecure than before and learned to stand up for myself and be an own secure person, a lot stronger than before. I'm proud of myself for that, and because of this I learned to let go. Not to overthink and analyse everything. Letting some thoughts/things/people go and stop caring so much. When I look back I see good times, so much fun, just let everything be. Lots of late nights and being free. This year has been a year to catch my breathe, take a break and laugh it off. I see this year as a year of with such great moments with a lot of highs in love and friendship and alot of these memories are actually making me smile at this moment just thinking about it. It has been a great year and I've learned alot about myself and the importance of friendship.

2011

I want 2011 to be a little bit more substantial and I don't want to escape anymore from the 'heavy things'. It's time to put my act together and find out what I want. I've always been scared to make big discissions and commit myself to one thing as I am scared to make the wrong discission and end up with lots of regret. Looking back at 2010, I ran away from the important stuff but I feel I have to face it this year. I want to be less afraid of the future. I alway kind of liked the feeling that everything was possible and I had the whole world in front of me with all its options. This year it will come down to he fact that I have to make descissions and plan my future a bit, which scares the shit out of me. This year I want to find my passion, something that I'm actually good at and I want to do the rest of my life. This is hard because there are so many things that I like but not love in life. Or love but not good at. Or love but don't want to do it the rest of my life. Nothing is certain at the moment and I just need a plan and search for my passion.

remember the time you drove all night, just to meet me in the morning

haven't been to school for a week now! love my mom, she doesn't mind me skipping school as long as I'm 'studying' for my exams starting thursday. Been in pj's for waay too long now studying, eating, taking long baths, watch movies and rest. It feels good to do nothing, it's too cold outside anyways! Can't waith for the christmas break, no more studying and lotss of diners and birthdays to attend :) x

he offered me the universe but inside my heart there's a picture of a girl

ohh it's been crazy crazy busy days lately, exams coming up, almost working fulltime, little bit of a social life when there's time.. also the winter has come and I'm just not made for the cold and the snow. I need warmth in my bones, I just can't function like this, all I want is a big wintersleep.

I've also been quite frustrated with the 'Ex', he's in a relationship at the moment, and I'm a happy single. Now he texted me: 'I really wonder sometimes who it is you're waiting for.' EXCUSE ME?! As if, when you're single, the only thing you do is desperately waiting around for anyone to come along! Hell no, I'm not waiting for no one, I'm good. So I texted him: 'I'm single and I like it that way, I'm not waiting for anyone.' Only for him to respond: 'Ahh don't worry you'll be ok, someday.' Oh I'm not ok at the moment? I am single by choice.

Besides that, it was a great weekend! Met up with some old friends who moved to Australia but were back in Amsterdam for a couple of days, we met up for dinner and drinks and just had the best time! Nice food, good wine, good company. The night went on and on and we just kept talking and laughing, realized how I've missed them.

Now I'm off to studying again, can't waith for the christmas break, I really need a break from studying for school and the people in the school. Laters x

if you give up new york, I'll give you tennessee, the only place to be

It's been a ridiculous lonnnggggg time since I've blogged! It's been crazyyy busy at school and work at the moment.. School is very very frustrating, the teachers are all out of there mind, assuming that we have no life or something, and work is ok because I really need the money! But it's been taking all of my free hours away, tomorrow is one of the few days I don't have school until 12, but now I have to work from 8 to half past 11 :( no sleep for me these days.

Buttt there are always good things in life, in only three weeks I'm seeing KOL again :) still enjoying they're album, the more you listen to it the more I'm loving it!!

watched the hills final episode, even though the show was mainly containing nothing, I had goosebumps! Currently addicted to: Glee & Jersey Shore, priceless. I also watched 'The Town', film was ok but Blake Lively? Not a good look on her!

Been planning alot of trips and travels for when I finish highschool in the three months holidaybreak, I may be going to Sidney for two months, visit some family and work on my English, sososo excited about this, I've always wanted to go there! Buttt I have to save alot of money, only tickets are so freakin expensive! But worth it!

Off to sleep now, work tomorrowmorning :( luckily the weekend is starting as well tomorrow; drinks and lots of catching up with my girls :) XOXO

Come Around Sundown

Today was a goood day. I got my hands on tickets for Kings of Leon and their new album 'Come Around Sundown' arrived today :). I had nothing to do, cold outside, so I just spent it with listening to come around sundown and it's even better than I had hoped it would be! It's a total different sound than Only by the Night (sex on fire/use somebody) little bit more 'country' and it just fits better with the band, going back to their roots. After listening it a couple times my favourites of the moment are: Pyro, The End, The Face, The Immortals, Puck Up Truck! But I know myself this will probably change every week!

drink up one more time & I'll make you mine

Meet Kristen Leotsakou and her awsome blog www.mary-jane-girl.blogspot.com

this could be the end

Running with the streetlights
Laughing at the grave
He swears he's gonna give it up
There's never gonna be enough
I just want to be there
When you're all alone
Thinking 'bout a better day
When you had it in your bones
-Kings of Leon

your nerve damage shows

lastweek; Lifehouse was amazingg! Did not expect it at all but they really blew me away! They're really really good live I truelly recommend to go to their shows if possible! Had a blast, was with one of my best friends, druk alotttt of beer and smoked alot of ciga's, found a way backstage (don't ask me how but somehow we always end up backstage) and got to meet the band and they're also so nice in person!
yesterday; partied with all of my besties, first alot of wine at my place, great to see everyone again and everytime I see them I just know these friendships are gonna last. It gives me a warm feeling to have people around who will stick with me through everything.
today; relaxing time, study a bit, order sushi and watching the hills!

how we do

Yesterday some big collegeparty in the city, wearing a new fur jacket like the pic above, only than in grey, a little black dress, black new heels, very blond big hair, black eyelinered eyes and big earrings. I love fur, can't help but feeling diva'ish wearing it. Night was fun, alot of champagne & cigarettes, got home too late. Had to be at school at half past 8, totally hangovered and tired and moody since my coffeemachine is broken. So tired now and the weekend hasn't even begon yet! Tonight drinks with my besties to catch up :) gooood times XX

young rich & tasteless.

# worried, my philosophyteacher talked about 'being tired of life' today, and added to it: but you don't know how that feels like, you're too young for that! Worried..

# loooooving the new single 'Radioactive' of Kings of Leon, they're finally touring and coming in my direction again, stayed on the phone for an hour couple days ago for tickets. Sold out. Finding some illegal way to get tickets, I have to go to that concert! Word has it 4th album is gonna be epiccc

# Rebuilding the kitchen at home, have been eating take away and delivery for two weeks now, actually craving for vegatables

# Watched first epoisode of GG again, loved it again

# Seriously thinking about taking a tattoo

# New addiction: cowboyboots, already have 2 pairs, need more.

# Realized something has to change big time because it's so frustating still not being over that one guy, after 4,5 years still comparing every single boy I meet with him. He has a hold of my heart and that needs to change.

don't judge me, just being human

Okay I know a couple posts back I said I was so done with being serious over boys and I'm just into simple flirting hooking up and nothing more. And at that point I so agreed with that. But I can't help, now that I'm home alone (yes highschoolish I know) for a couple of days and sitting here in my empty house with all of my friends being out of the country.. I can't help feeling lonely and with only wanting to do one thing; text/call one of those exes I also once talked about and wanting them to come over. I kinda miss getting texts since my plan of meeting new boys, hooking up, hang around but no strings attached totally failed. Haven't been going out lately and I'm just.. feeling kinda lonely this night.

all you have to do is cry

so, we're alone again
i wish it were over
we seem to never end
only get closer
to the point where i can take no more

-Joshua Radin

styleforstyle

Love these styleforstyle t-shirts, only available online here! defn gonna order some of those! XO

Arrrrgh after a perfect weekend, a perfect summer actually, today was the first day at school again. I was waaay to optimistic about surviving this year by myself, I just figured I'm gonna make the best out of it and before you know it this year is over and I'll be joining my studying friends who are so far away from me :(. So this all started today and its gonna be harder than I thought. I miss my friends already so much, the people I'm with now are totally lame and boring. I'm feeling bitter and in a bad mood nonstop. Not seeing how this year will ever end. Now early sleep for another day at school tomorrow. Night night xoxo

you go back to her and I go back to black

Last night a goodbyeparty of two amazing friends I'm truelly gonna miss, they're gonna travel the world, which is pretty awsome. Good times, almost all of my friends were there, drunk way too much wine but I'm not even that hangovered! School is almost starting and the thought makes me sick, soooo not looking forward to another year at this school. I really just want to keep the summer here with me plus the freetime! Tonight I'm having dinner with my mom and sister in law, early sleep, work until 1 and leave this town again for 3 days to my friends who moved, party party, than return for school on monday! have a good weekend xoxo